The Young Victoria

In this winter, I promised to my English teacher that I will join the movie review in the beginning of the Feb. This movie "review" is a little bit different from what people know as normal. While participating, the teacher will anoint some people to say exactly after what the actors and actresses said. So people should listen very carefully and do the dictation before they participate. This way of practicing English was actually quite helpful for me since I was in middle school, and since I'm preparing a formal English test, I decided to join. Well, I don't even know the movie title except that the abbreviation is C.F. All I konw is that the movie is English.
So I decided to watch 'The Young Victoria' first to check if I understand English accent.
Well, the movie was quite great :) However, I couldn't understand every English especially the accent of German-born mother. At first, the movie was interesting because it describes the loneliness of Queen Victoria very well. Maybe in these days, there are less people who are lonely as the Queen but a lot more people feel loneliness than the people at Victoria age. I agreed to the tears falling down from her eyes... I tell someone how I feel, but I have no one whom I can talk. That's what I feel the most during the semester...
Second one that I want to focus is the love between Albert and Victoria. I even cried a bit when I saw the scene. Their love reminded me how a true relationship means to my life. One true relationship, and that's all we need not to feel lonely. We are not Queen by ourselves. There must be some people who may serve us to be Queen. We might be a queen in our own world but not in the real world. So please, don't be arrogant and stubborn even to yourselves, especially if you want that one true relationship.

Lost my dream?

I've been very sick for about 4 days. I got ringer shot yesterday and slept for 6 hours before the sunset. It's just hard for me to stand up and roam around. It feels like every organ of my body cries out against my order. Headache, cough, dizzyness, fever, sore throat, muscular ache, sniveling and so on... When have I been sick this much for the last time? Maybe it was about 8 years ago? I hate to skip the classes, but I didn't have any other choice. Just eat and sleep and eat and sleep and...
What made me so weak? Where am I? I feel so lost in the mist. I've lost my dreams. The sickness made me think about myself. I was not the kind of girl I see myself right now. I THOUGHT I WAS healthy, honest, generous, diligent and faithful. Who is the girl sitting in front of my laptop and typing on the screen?
Whoa... So many things I've lost since last year, which are health and passion. What should I do to get them back to my life? So lost to arrange my thoughts...

Zoned out

It's been a very long time since I wrote my last piece of blogging. Now I'm sophomore, majored in ME(mechanical engineering, as I expected) and there are people who are 3 years younger than me in my school. I was hoping to be a little bit more mature when I become sophomore, I mean, in terms of relationship. But every moment I ask to myself, what am I doing now? I cannot even take care of myself. An evidence without uncertainty is that I don't study as hard as I did last semester. To go back to Boston, I promised to myself that I will study very hard. Well how about now? I have an exam for Special Lectures in English Literature 2 days later, but I spent most of my time for just searching around the internet. Besides, there are 3-homework due on tomorrow :( Not willing to work on them.



Ah... Plz pray for me, to be as passionate as I was before.

In the middle of mid term..

Urrrrrrr~~~~~~~~~~ MID TERM!!!
Wow, that team project for one semester is really killing me =) I wasn't unable to update my blog. I can't believe that this is the first update in October. Since it's in the middle of mid term week, we don't have to submit our team project assignments.
Actually, I don't think I hate the Freshman Design Course(the team project I'm working on ). I met several good friends through this course, and I always put more value on people I meet, not the work itself. I really like my teammates.
I've been going through two exams until now, and I have two more on Monday. I'm supposed to study now, but I don't know...

Okay, here are things that I want to do after mid-term. These are not arranged.

1. Swimming~~
- Actually, I couldn't bare the untightness of my muscles so I went to the swimming pool once during the mid term. But I know that I'm really going fat =( When I measured my weight, it decreased but I know that my muscles are gone ㅠㅠ

2. Watching a movie in a movie theater
- It's been almost 3 months since I watched a single movie in a theater. Yeah, last time was with my brother in Boston. When would I be able to visit Korean movie theater?

3. Emails
- I miss my dear friends in Boston!! I don't know how they are doing these days... Urr....

4. What else? Any comments?

Wow, time really flies...

It's been 2 weeks since the school started, and 6 weeks since I came back from Boston. Still cannot believe that I was where I was, and I was with whom I was with. A lot of things happened to me. I've got some new friends who had been living in foreign country such as India or Indonesia. They are all Korean, but because they was living there about a decade, they are very good at English. Even one of them says that English is more comfortable than Korean for him. Starting to attend an English speaking service, some people asked me to go with and sometimes I asked them to go together. I think I'm so lucky to have some friends who speak both Korean and English so that I can practice speaking English. They are exciting and open-minded friends comparing to the ordinary Korean friend. But sometimes it's hard to understand how they think. Anyway, I really want to serve for international people in Korea and God gave me a lot of opportunity to meet those new people. As it was very hard for me to live in Boston for 3 quarters of a year, I hope that I can really understand how difficult they are who are working or studying in Korea. Even my Korean friends I mentioned above have a lot of things to be helped. Some of them cannot even write Korean.
From next week, I will be very busy because of homework due and a lot of reports. I really hope that still my center of life is God and never forget it in my mind.

First week in Daejon

Still looking around for the right church... Today, I went to the biggest church in Daejon, Saeronam church. I went to an English service with two of my friends. The praising and worship was so graceful, and pastor's sermon was very touching even his English pronunciation was not good. I really want to share this with all my blog readers :)

"Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified." Act 20:32, NIV

This verse is from one of the last speaking of apostle Paul to the Ephesian elders. He was about to leave the church because God's word was given to him, which was to go Jerusalem where imprisonment was waiting for him. Paul knew that he wouldn't be able to see those people again in his physical life. Even though he didn't want to leave, because it was time as God had spoken to him, he left.
Sometimes God answers our prayers in a different way, in an unexpected way. We usually ask God for a way that we feel comfortable, but sometimes it's not the way He wants us to be. Trust in God, that's what we need. Yes, saying goodbye is very hard for everyone but there is a certain time that we need to move on. Apostle Paul told the people that they might not be able to meet again during the rest of their life. But in God, we are one, and we are together forever. Even though we are apart, we can pray for each other.

These days I tend to do something not meaningful, such as jumping around websites without any specific purpose. Still miss Boston and Park street church. However, this is the time I need to move on, so that I can grow up as God's will. Still, we who are in God, are all together. Thank you, Lord!

In the early morning

I didn't wake up early. It's 2 o'clock in the morning, and I haven't gone to sleep yet. There are some things that I'm waiting for.. some things that I don't even know what they are. These days I'm doing quite well. I'm searching for new churches, I moved to another place, and I'm meeting my dear friends at least once in two days. I reagularly work out , my eating is normal, but one thing that is physically missing in my daily life is sleeping. Sometimes I'm just waiting for something until that happen without knowing what I am waiting for. I can spend this free time by reading Bible or praying... At first I planned to write what I learned from some new Korean churches everyweek on my blog, but apparently I'm not working at all. I took notes in English and that taking notes helps me a lot to understand some difficult Korean words. I wrote 4 pages already in my diary.. When would I update those good messages?

What am I waiting for... 내가 무엇을 기다리고 있는 걸까...
The logic is so funny :) I'm actually asking myself what I am thinking right now.