The sermon from Joni Eareckson Tada

I had very bad nightmares during last one week as if those will happen in near future. I didn't go to 11 o'clock service. Lying on my bed and crying out to God, suddenly I had a strong desire to go outside whatever I was going to do.


I came to downtown around 2:30. I hadn't eaten something until then, so I had salad at Quincy
market alone and walked a bit. It reminded me when I first came to Boston downtown. I had chosen not to eat lunch because I was alone. Korean usually feel weird when he eat by himself. Now I don't mind eating alone. I changed a lot :) Walking on the streets I've never been before helped my heart to calm down and saved me from the nightmare I had last night.


Then I went to at 4'o clock service. Joni Eareckson Tada gave a great sermon today. The whole service was so touching. I really cried out even during worship.

She is the last guest speaker I meet before I leave Boston. Here's the note I wrote during her speaking.


"Thank God for He is good. How can God be good? God must be somewhere off, only interested in other people. How can He be trustworthy? How can someone explain His will?

Was Jesus' suffering on the cross for God's will? Of course. But how can murder, torture, betrayal can be God's will?

World's worst murder becomes world's greatest salvation. Even though in the same bad accident, God's purpose and that of Satan are different. God permits what he hates across to accomplish what He wants.

After all he gave good things to me, still He doesn't look good. When our soul is bleeding, we can't stop the pain. We ask questions, crying out to God, but still the answers don't reach to our heart. That's not what we want. All we really want is true assurance that says someday we will be recovered. We want God to be the center of our suffering and everything to be okay.

He's not so quick to give us answers, but He is there. He is the anwer and the world.

God allows suffering so that there's no gap between God and us. He does not allow seperation from His love. We are the ones who fail to follow him. We forget our sin.

Here's the story from 'The Chronicles of Narnia'. Aslan is the king of animals. Lucy(not sure) asks Mrs. Beaver if Aslan is a human. Aslan is a lion. Then Lucy askes again, how can other animals can not be go in front of him and bow down. He is scary, because he is lion. Then Mrs. Beaver says this quote. "Of course he is not safe, but he is good."


I also attended 6 o'clock service. I wanted to meet her personally and ask a question.

After service, I met her and explained what I'm being suffered so far and asked her why do you think God chose me to suffer all those things. I knew it was just a silly question, but it was important to me. Why me? He could have others live my life. I just wanted to live normal. Why all these nightmares happen to me?

Her answer was 'I don't know'. I was expecting an answer of her case. Actually the question I wanted to ask was this; What do you think is the reason why God chose you to be a person who cannot use hands and legs?

Yeah... Nobody knows why. But she prayed for me for a moment. I was holding her hand. She reminded me to memorize Bible verses and keep repeating them after nightmares. Her hands were cold but her eyes were so warm. I hugged her... She was an angel to me.



Thanks to our Father for letting me listen to her sermon. Thanks God, for raising her from discouragement and making her a light among us....